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Kendall Jenner? Bella Hadid? Sommer Ray? Which one of these models/influencer have you
compared yourself to? Maybe all three of them? Well guess what... you’re not the only one. We are growing up in a time where we have the the world at our fingertips. We can access information about our friends lives and celebrities lives, so how are we not supposed to compare our lives to theirs? Everyone posts about the perfect aspects of their lives leaving out the vulnerable struggle everyone goes through. This comparison leaves us sitting at home wondering why our life is so bland, why we look the way we do, or what are we missing in life that is allowing all these other people to live happily and lavishly? Human beings are almost wired to make assumptions to fill in the gaps and wonderings we are left with. Assumptions have the power to kill our mindset, and most of the time that is exactly what they do. We assume everyone has it better off. Hating ourselves, our image, and our lives becomes a habit. You lose the most important thing in life, yourself. The meaning of life is to find happiness. But what does happiness stem from? Money? Relationships? Friendships? Happiness begins when you make the decision to love yourself. A love for life will branch from your love for yourself. You will love everything you do and everything that comes your way, good or bad, if you fall in love with who you are and who you are becoming. There is not one person in this world who has never struggled, yet you never see their battles. Understanding that unsubstantiated comparison kills your love for yourself will help you on your journey to happiness. This is easier said than done. Trust me. I’ve struggled with mental health for over 5 years. Chronic hip issues have been a part of my life for 5 years now. Dozens of doctors couldn’t diagnose me, until I went to one of the top 3 surgeons in the country who specialized in hips who was willing to doan invasive surgery on a kid. I’m 15 and still seeing my same surgeon in New York City even after two surgeries, several injections( still more to come), countless x-rays, ct scans, and what feels like millions of MRI’s. Stress and uncertainty made me develop IBS, irritable bowel syndrome. I was now on another medical journey exploring medicines, remedies, and diets all at the same time that I was exploring my hip treatments. I felt like everything went wrong in my life. I felt I was a burden, a medical dummy for these doctors to practice on, and most of all I stopped loving who I was. So... I stopped loving life. All this time I knew how essential loving myself was, but I would see my friends Instagram posts about their tournaments when I had to give up opportunities like playing middle school soccer, high school soccer, the Olympic Development Team, and many travel soccer seasons. I saw models looking flawless in bikinis when I could barely walk a mile without crying leading to my intense weight gain. These models were thin, happy, and blemish free while my surgery scar ran 5 inches long peaking out from under my bikini, I had gained weight which was supernatural to me as I’m an athlete, and I was depressed. 12 year old me was questioning why my life was so horrible when everyone else lived perfect lives. With the help of my therapist, I stepped back one day to look at life and realized 2 life changing things: 1. Things that suck happen, but you have to move on & 2. You have to love yourself to love the life you live. These were two things I had to turn into habits. I slowly stopped making assumptions and began realizing everyone struggles, not just me. These models that I’ve been comparing myself to have their struggles as well. They are such a small percentage of the 7.954 billion people on this Earth. Most people haven’t worked as hard as they have to get their physique and most people don’t have the same genetics/metabolism, so why should I expect myself to look like them? It is impossible for my friends to have perfect lives. It’s all about who shows it or not, so why do I isolate myself in my mind as “the only victim”? Things happen. Life sucks sometimes. You can’t get stuck on these things. You have to move on. You have to grow. You have to love who you are. You have to love life
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